We make so much of the beginnings of the covenant
Whether it should begin: “Have you had premarital counseling?”
Whether it is biblical: “What gender is your partner?”
We make so much of the ends of the covenant
Whether it should dissolve: “What are your grounds for leaving?”
Whether it is biblical: “Why can’t you just forgive them?”
And in the middle, there is only a sweeping silence
No more elaborate ceremonies
No more teachings in pulpits
I stare at two different documents
A wedding license, a beginning
A divorce decree, an ending
Does the church truly care about marriage?
Frantic words spilling off of editorial pages seems to imply so
But I wonder if it is the marriage so much that matters or if it is control
Control of beginnings and endings
Control of lives and love
Control of church and state
—
I stare at two pieces of paper
I remember the days and tears in between them both
I remember my own silence as we suffered
I wish the church cared more about marriage
Not just of the BODIES of those who make covenants
But of the make-up of those covenants
Of the promises made
I wish the church cared more about marriage
Beyond ceremonies and celebrations
Beyond court dates and counseling recommendations
Beyond exegetical arguments
I wish the church would say
Marriage is more than gendered bodies
more than sex
more than joint bank accounts
more than tax deductions
I wish the church would say
Marriage points to something Bigger
To Boundless Grace
To Human Unity
To God
—
We call to you church,
We who have tried and lost
We who have hurt and yet yearn
We who were once in covenant and now pick ourselves up out of broken ones
Speak to us about marriage
about hope
about resurrection
about love that is life that is tied to God’s own self
Speak to us about marriage
not words of fury and brokenness
we have heard enough of them
Speak to us about marriage
words of Easter
words of Joy
words of reality altering depth
Show us that you care about marriage, O Bride,
Show us God cares
Do better.
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Why do YOU think the church should care about marriage?