God-Awful Truth and A Love Letter: Reflections from the EDM

God-Awful Truth and A Love Letter: Reflections from the EDM

I asked a soul friend, someone I’ve come to know and be known by through my work with AllianceQ, I asked her: “What is an appropriate way to say, ‘I’m sorry you haven’t heard from me promptly or possibly at all. I am struggling some days to get dressed and it’s hard to breathe.”

“Say what you just wrote,” she said. 



In recent months my wife and I have separated, and I am doing the best I can. That’s my god-awful truth.

Here’s my love letter:

The Church unanimously passed GA-2352 to oppose anti-trans legislation and affirm the dignity of transgender and gender-diverse people on August 1. READ these reflections from Rev. Ari Douglas, the primary author of the resolution.

AllianceQ’s staff and Council did not draft GA-2352. You know you have one staff person, right? Work was A LOT before family life became A LOT MORE. You know the Council is working to build a stronger organizational foundation? The Council is critically examining our structures and processes and imagining how to improve them for the work ahead. READ this letter from Moderator Rev. Luther Young that asks us to review and approve an important resolution to the Design of our organization.

I love that Rev. Ari Douglas and you organized and mobilized to bring GA-2352 to our church. YOU are embodying the ever-expanding love of God, striving for justice and liberation; for an inclusive, affirming Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). Your collaboration, your co-conspiracy with the Divine, is a holy manifestation of Being the Church. 

Like the late Carol Blakely who broke silence in 1977, and dared to name our humanity, you are disrupting today’s deadly silence from our churches, challenging us to move beyond prose on a page that sounds affirming. You are extending previous commitments and providing actions for us to take.

At the Disciples Justice Ministries “Building a Whole Kindom” workshop during the assembly, we were asked, “How is God calling you?” While I helped plan the workshop, I did not plan to personally speak to this question. 

I stood and said, “I am called to do less. I am called to do less by myself.” 

I was and continue to be full of emotion, proud of YOU, and humbled by you. You, members of AllianceQ, members of the Body, are speaking up and showing up, embodying our mission. I am humbled by your passion and compassion and persistence.

Thank you for doing the work, being the hands and feet and voices of Christ; thank you for following and embracing the Holy Spirit; She is mighty fierce through you. READ my State of the Movement Address that highlights our fierce ministry. 

We are a beautiful rainbow, displaying all the colors of hope. Referencing Colors of Hope, thank you for helping me resist the despair that at times swirls within and around me.

Hope is an act of resistance. Joy is an act of resistance. Rest is an act of resistance.

The themes of hope, joy, and rest will guide the 2nd Annual Colors of Hope Retreat in just a few weeks. LEARN MORE AND REGISTER for the October 9-12 retreat.

With some of The Worst unfolding at home, I had some of The Best experiences at General Assembly. Our dinner banquet, awards, after session, and workshop; our kick-ass volunteers and faithful supporters and new connections from coast to coast. The Best. 

By the way, I know Things Will Get Easier. Some say Things Will Get Better. Like many of you, I’m familiar with grief and loss.

There’s an author who wrote, “Shift happens.” It was me. Insert expletive. Oh, when our messages for the people convict our own hearts. (The quote is from the Green Chapter in Colors of Hope.)

Come retreat with me in the NC mountains. I’m certain there will be some (more) God-Awful Truth and Love.



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